My dear friends, I know Ive posted before, but I felt that the Lord wanted me to let you know a little of what is going on recently in my life.
My mom had arm reconstruction sugary on Friday December 5th. she was in the hospital until Monday and was in a lot of pain. wile in the hospital we we struck with very bad news. the phone call was terrible. She began to cry, and handed the phone to me. I told him to tell me and he wouldn't, finally after the third time of saying "Tell me" he told me. My brother wants no relationship with our family. I hung up and for the first time in my life I had to take a walk for being so angry. I took the elevator downstairs and found myself running to the hospital chapel. I sat down and began to weep. Why God why is he doing this? I felt like my heart was ripped in two. after about ten min. I went outside. I was feeling claustrophobic and needed more space. Into the parking lot I went and found a large patch of grass with a small storage building on it. I walked straight to it and paced back and forth again asking why this was happening.
After about 20 min. I sat down and began weeping again. I found myself begging for God to hug me. I said Ill do anything if you just gave me one real tangible hug. I heard God tell me, you know I am hugging you, non of this is your fault. Ill take care of everything. I began to think about what Chrissy would pray on us at wisdom search about getting a smile from God. so I started to pray, God give me a smile from you :). As I looked up I began looking around at Gods creation, It was cold the trees were nearly bare the sky was clear with and occasional wispy cloud. I began to cry and tell God, you are a huge God, please give me something to hold on to and encourage me through the day. I then looked over in this small patch of woods. the trees had no tops (I figured from hurricane Katrina) few leaves and all. But my eye caught a single branch with leaves on it that bowed into almost a complete circle and another one coming up, closing the gap against the tree. I stared at it for a wile, and realized it was the shape of a half a heart!!! I could hear God telling me, I am Jehovah Rajah, don't worry, it will be whole again. I felt a overcoming peace come over me I cred and said Thank you God. then went into the hospital. I was got for over an hour, I found daddy looking for me, and together we went back upstairs. God will get us through this, he is all powerful.
today I ask you for prayer. Mom came home from the hospital on Monday and went back in on Wednesday. Wednesday morning she woke up around 11:00 am and was acting very strangely. I figured maybe I gave her, her pain meds too close together last night and she is just groggy. through the day it was getting steadily worse. she fought sleep wouldn't eat, I could not get her to lie down and she refused to listen to me. finnaly around 4:30 I pushed he back to get her to lie down and she said she couldn't do that because she couldn't breathe! I began to worry and called my pastor for what to do. He suggested calling her doctor. When I got in touch, the nurse told me she need to go to the hospital if she is having trouble breathing. I immediately called 911. there she could not walk, only stand up briefly. The fire department arrived first. One of the fellas I knew because Dustin worked with him. Troy asked what was going on and I explained it all to him. when the ambulance arrived we jumped in and were on the way to st. Tammany parish hospital, because that's were she had her surgery, but a few feet down the road I heard the paramedic say something to the driver and she called over the radio were changing to lakeview, it quicker. I started to worry, because I knew that meant she was getting worse.
In the hospital she became delusional, was non responsive to us, was looking all over and could not stop moving. they did multiple tests to find out what was going on. the took blood 4 different times did a spinal tap an x ray and a CAT scan. It was very scary to see her like this.
two ladies from Church shewed up and spent a wile there, as well as my pastor and his wife, Aaron and Laura, and Aaron's brother Jason and another young boy from church. I ran into Creg Cato who is a paramedic that goes to our church, and he went in to see momma too. I was a rough night. I spent the night and and didn't sleep because she didn't. I was afraid she might pull something out.
She is still there, and the doctors have done every test under the sun and given her antibiotics to cover anything they could think of that it might be. Daddy said it reminds him of an episode of House. The doctor even said don't be surprised if when this is over we still have no idea what it is. they said that the tests are pointing to things but none of them appear to be the actual cause. she had a rough night last night. In the past three days I slept only during the day when day picks me up in the morning to switch. He stays all day, I stay all night. slept about 5 hours yesterday was up almost 20 hours and slept today from 10:30 am to 5:30 pm. and will be going back to the hospital shortly. she is more responsive now, and no longer delusional, but were afraid she could die.
yesterday morning I looked out the window and noticed it was raining. I then realized it was not rain but SNOW!!!!!!!!!! It hasn't ever snowed that much in south Louisisana!!!! we had anyware between 4 and 10 inches!!!!!!! it was such a wonderful smile from God. when daddy and I switched I went to a friends house for dinner and we had a snow ball fight and everything. Ive not seen snow since I was 12. and show that thick even longer! I was so greatful for Gods creation, and sharing it with me.
Anyway God bless, and I hope to see you all soon :)